Woman Chained to Armoire in Protest

woman chained to treeI always admired the environmentalists who chained themselves to a tree to prevent it from being cut down, and fancied myself a free spirit who would be stifled by living in the same place too long. But now it has come time to downsize from our beautiful home of twenty-nine years — where we raised our beautiful children — and I’m not finding the change easy. Of course, I don’t ever find change easy. Necessary and growthful: yes. Something I look forward to: no.  I have never given up anything – material or emotional– that doesn’t have my claw marks from holding on scratched into it.

I can’t see how we can fit my beloved carved armoire into our new, smaller house. And I keep getting this vivid image of bravely chaining myself to the armoire  until the police come and saw the chain apart.  Or maybe I could rent a U-Haul and just haul my armoire with me behind my car wherever I go.  Of course, I wouldn’t be like the environmentalists too much   because I would be fighting FOR materialism!

change signsIf you had asked me years ago if I was materialistic, I would have responded no, my eyes wide and innocent.  In fact, when my late mother-in-law protested when we were moving her into assisted living  that her things WERE  her identity, I privately scoffed. But, as so often happens in my life, whenever I have negatively judged a person, I later find that same damn negative quality in myself.  I wish that I had gently patted my mother-in-law’s shoulder and said that yes, I understood.  Maybe if you live long enough and deep enough, you come to understand and “own” a bit of a dark shadow about almost everything. But I also think that if you live long enough and deep enough, you  see more light inside of you and others than you did.  I saw a photo of myself twenty years ago, many pounds lighter than I am now, and thought, ”Gosh, that woman is gorgeous.”  But I didn’t see it at all at the time. Now, even though I am heavier, wear orthopaedic shoes, and have thinning hair, I sometimes catch myself in a mirror and am surprised at my beauty.

fish jumping to new bowlSo if you want to send care packages to sustain a pitiful woman chained to her armoire, you know where to find me. But, just maybe..maybe just a little bit …I might be enjoying my new house!

 

2 Comments

  1. Teresa Riveland January 23, 2015 at 5:18 pm .

    When faced with a dilemma, take a moment to sit with the issue. Don’t rush to decide what to do. Intend, to let creative inspiration flow into you, and it will be so.
    I had a client who was faced with “where to put” her cherished armoire. She found that it fit into her master bedroom, walk-in closet. She repurposed it.
    Love your writing style. It’s very visual.

  2. Pat January 29, 2015 at 12:14 am .

    You made me chuckle, Debra. Hopefully, I will remember your humor when I go through the same process down the road. I am so glad you can see the beauty in yourself. You are one of the most beautiful people I know, inside and outside!

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